Don't expect anything amazing. This is rad, but it will be more special for you if you aren't expecting it. I like things. I dislike people.
Hey, I’ve got something I really need to tell you like sincerely, come here *whispers in ear* I hate you so much
the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”
fucking shit up with a wooden shoe
oh my god
well wooden shoe look at that
I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE
so i naturally have these bags under my eyes, right, no matter what i do they dont go away
anyway so i found out if i stretch my face and tip it up and to the side they go away
so im just gonna walk around like this forever
ive stopped fighting it
get this post to 100,000 notes
god fucking damnit
How has that seemingly inept fool managed to crack one egg in the dish perfectly but apparently forgotten how to not be a spaz when it came to the second!?
my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it